He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize