Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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