Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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