imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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