We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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