I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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