My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
