I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
