I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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