Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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