I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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