high people should be assigned attendants
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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