i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
