Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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