ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
