just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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