it hurts more in the daytime
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
