so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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