Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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