dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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