You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
