Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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