he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
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If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
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I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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