Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
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The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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