why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
