I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
