It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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