Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
