My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
