You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I have fence marks all over my body
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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