It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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