He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dick very happy bro
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
