it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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