hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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