So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
