Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
