What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
