The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
