I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Boobs are out for the taking
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
