So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize