All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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