But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
