I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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