Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
