I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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