New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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