I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
