He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it glows. i had to have it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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