what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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