Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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