i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
