My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
