if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
