The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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