I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
