at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dear god my vagina.
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