Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
