the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I want to fling myself into the sun
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