Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
