what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
